Elixir
by Lioness Black
Summary: [Complete. AU, Slash] Regulus is a drug addict. Severus is an aspiring dealer of new drugs. Bellatrix is a chain smoking golddigger. Life is a wild ride. Death is another story.
1. Chapter One

Title: Elixir  
Rating: R  
Information: AU, slash, drug use, sexuality, and profanity  
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Regulus sat up in bed smoking a joint. He was naked, his hair uncombed, and was staring out the window at nothing. He was nearly the most beautiful thing Severus had ever seen. He was painfully beautiful.  
  
"I'm leaving."  
  
Regulus looked up. "Okay, Severus. I'll see you tonight?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Are you bringing the stash?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
He held out the joint. "Want?"  
  
"No, no, thanks."  
  
"I'll see you tonight."  
  
Severus grabbed his cloak and left the flat. He loved Regulus. He would never say it and Regulus never wanted to hear it. The feeling wasn't mutual and Severus knew it, but it wasn't important. This relationship was based in sex and the drugs. It was a dangerous combination.  
  
He went to work, a retail job until he could get a something better. He stocked hemp jewelry in a little bohemian shop in London. They never let him interact with customers, he seemed to scare them away, but they stared at him through glassy eyes. He properly ignored them.  
  
After that he got a coffee and walked in the cold February air.  
  
The London streets were dirty with old snow frozen against gutters and the sides of buildings. The weather had warmed enough to melt it, but it froze again too quickly and it all turned to ice. Severus watched his step, it was easy to slip.  
  
"Severus! My man!" Mo Quail waved at him.  
  
Mo was a Muggle from Jamaica, and was the cause of stereotypes. He had dreadlocks to his waist and had pockets full of weed that he both sold and smoked. He wore brightly colored smocks under his heavy black coat.  
  
"Hello," Severus said. "Do you have my order?"  
  
"Where's your boyfriend?"  
  
"Look, Mo, I just need my stuff and I've got to go."  
  
Mo grinned, patting his chest. "Right here, my man, right here."  
  
Severus reached into his cloak and pulled out a wad of Muggle money. He slipped the money into Mo's hand, as Mo dropped a bag into Severus' pocket.  
  
"Thank you," Severus said.  
  
"Bring you shagboy around next time," Mo said. "He's a hella lot nicer than you."  
  
"Because he's always stoned. He's always very pleasant."  
  
"Maybe you need to take a note out of his book, then."  
  
"He smokes too much."  
  
"And you buy his hash for him so he'll stop? Severus, it doesn't seem like he's the one with the problem, now does he?" Mo grinned. "You have my card, man. Call me when it's time."  
  
Severus scowled. He hated it when other people were right.  
  
He found a cornerstore and got a sack full of snacks. It should last them the night. Regulus usually fed on sex, but he got cranky if there was nothing to eat.  
  
He went back to the apartment. Regulus was there, but he was dressed and clearly had left at some point during the day. He was still wearing his shoes.  
  
"Where were you?"  
  
Regulus looked up. "We ran out so I took a walk."  
  
"Where did you go?" Severus set the bag onto the table.  
  
"Out. Did you get the stuff?"  
  
"Where did you go?"  
  
Regulus' teeth gritted. "You got it, didn't you, Severus? Didn't you?"  
  
"Just tell me where you were, goddamnit!"  
  
"I went to the chapel down the street and repented for the abomination that we do every night. Is that what you want to hear? Do you want me to leave? Did you bring the motherfucking marijuana?"  
  
Regulus could be quite the drama queen. Severus was used to it. Regulus liked being stoned. It wasn't, as he said all the time, as if he was addicted, he just liked the feeling. Severus knew a twenty people in the building alone who would say the same thing and scream when they were out of weed.  
  
Severus reached into his cloak pocket and threw the bag onto the table. "Here, take it."  
  
"Papers?"  
  
"Go out and get them yourself! Oh, I forgot, you don't have a job!" Severus could strangle him. He didn't want to be the enemy. This was the reason Regulus left his parents, but how long could he support a drug addict?  
  
Regulus did harder drugs than the marijuana. Never in front of Severus, but that was why he was so concerned of where Regulus had gone earlier in the day.  
  
Severus was worried. He was always worried. If he kept Regulus supplied with weed, perhaps he could keep him from those drugs. He feared herion, and suspected cocaine. It was useless to ask.  
  
Regulus smiled. His eyes were bloodshot. He wrapped his arms around Severus' neck and kissed his cheek, then his neck. He undid the clasps of Severus' cloak.  
  
"Share a joint with me?" Regulus offered.  
  
"What about the papers?"  
  
"I'm sure we can dig up one or two."  
  
They went through the nearly empty kitchen drawers and found a brand new pack of rolling papers underneath a book of matches.  
  
"A perfect match," Regulus said. "Like you and me. Papers and matches."  
  
"Which am I?" Severus asked. He kicked off his shoes.  
  
"Matches. Definitely matches." Regulus sat at the table and began rolling the joint. "You're the fire that lights me."  
  
Most people, especially people in love, would find this comment sweet, but Severus knew that Regulus was on something. He never made sweet profound comments when he was sober. He was never sweet at all when he was sober either. Severus was unsure if he knew Regulus at all when he was sober.  
  
Regulus inhaled the smoke and held the joint to Severus. He took it this time and inhaled on it as well.  
  
It reminded of the day they met.  
  
It was an orgy, for lack of other words with fives wizards and four witches. Severus didn't know how he ended up there, not knowing who would invite a grumpy loner, but he was in a strange flat, his mouth wrapped around a stranger's dick. After that he wasn't sure what happened. The drugs that were passed around gave off heavy perfumed smokes that made him drowsy. They were magical, no doubt, but he took them. He felt relaxed for what felt like the first time in his life.  
  
He woke up the next morning on his stomach, his face between a strange witch's legs. His ass hurt, and he soon knew why when he looked over at a beautiful, naked young man smoking a joint.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked, lifting his head slightly.  
  
"The boy who fucked your ass off last night," he replied. "I wouldn't let anyone else touch it. I knew when I saw you that you were special."  
  
"Then who's this?" Severus asked, motioning to the witch.  
  
He shrugged. "Hell if I know, fuck if I care."  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"What's a name, but a label of your identity? I'd much rather fuck you twenty times a day and never know your name, but know you for who you are."  
  
"Then I won't tell you my name, but tell me yours."  
  
The boy gave him a half grin as he offered the joint. "Regulus Black."  
  
"It's good shit, right?"  
  
Severus was brought back to this day. He handed him the joint. "Yes, quite good."  
  
"Mo came through." Regulus unzipped his fly, reached into his pants and started masturbating right there in the kitchen. He took another hit. "Ohh..."  
  
The sight was overwhelming. "Take off your pants," Severus said. "I'll take care of that for you."  
  
"Oh, Sev, you're too good to me." He wiggled out of his trousers, letting them puddle around his ankles.  
  
"I know I am." He pulled Regulus to his feet. "To the bedroom with you." He cupped his hand around Regulus' bare buttock and led him to the dirty chamber. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
  
Severus was working with his potions. He had managed to keep Regulus away from them. He knew what Regulus would do with them. He would do exactly what Severus was doing right now.  
  
It was easier to try and create your own drugs than buy them from cocky Jamaican dealers.  
  
As predicted, he and Regulus had shared joints, all of them mostly being smoked by Regulus, while trading sexual favors. Between these moments Regulus kept his tongue down Severus' throat and Severus enjoyed the feel of his hands constantly touching him.  
  
The door opened and a woman walked into the apartment without warning. She wore a long winter coat and her long black hair was a scraggly mess. Her makeup appeared to be a day old. She looked at the potions with disdain. "What the hell are you doing, Severus?"  
  
"Creating the new super drug. What about you, Bella?"  
  
"Looking for my good for nothing cousin. He's here, I know he is. I can smell the pot, and he never leaves. It wouldn't make sense for him not to be here."  
  
"What if I told he died?"  
  
"I wouldn't believe you. I could smell his rotting flesh."  
  
"I can smell yours."  
  
"Cute." Bella picked up a beaker filled with a purple liquid. "What would happen if I drank this?"  
  
"Not sure. It would probably eat up the lining of your stomach. You'll want to inject that directly."  
  
"For someone who hates drugs, and hates his shagboy snorting, he enjoys making something new, now don't you?"  
  
"Snorting what?" Severus looked at her.  
  
"Oh, nothing." She set down the beaker. "Is he around? I have a message from his mother."  
  
"He's asleep."  
  
"Long night, Severus?"  
  
"Yes. What about for you? Spend the night with another abusive disease carrying asshole?"  
  
"Wrong. I spent the night with a rich, married asshole who bought me a diamond bracelet. However, I don't think it's any business of yours."  
  
"Wake him if you must. He won't be any good, though. He's only coherent after noon. It's part of his internal clock."  
  
"Big talk for the likes of you," Bella said. She walked into the bedroom and pulled Regulus out of bed. "Wake up, arse!" She kicked him in the groin.  
  
"Ow! Shit! What the hell do'ya think you're doin'?" Severus watched from the corner of his eye, Regulus standing, bent over slightly. "What do you want?"  
  
Bella thrusted a note at his chest. "Your mother calls you, and since you live in this shithole, she left the message with me. Maybe if you stop spending all of Severus' money on coke and hash you could afford a phone line!"  
  
She walked out of the bedroom and through the apartment. "See you, Sev."  
  
"Bye, Bella," Severus muttered.  
  
Regulus limped into the kitchen. "Can you believe the nerve of her?" He sat on the kitchen table and rolled a joint. "It's not even eleven. What are you doing?"  
  
"Fucking around, why are you spending my money on coke?"  
  
"I'm not. It was just the one time at Bella's. She always hauls it up and throws it in my face." Regulus shrugged. "Where'd those matches go?"  
  
"They're around." Severus turned around and faced Regulus. "What are you doing when I'm gone?"  
  
"Since when is that your business?" He reached into a bag and felt around. He pulled out a lighter. He lit the joint and smiled. "Come on, Sev, you can't listen to Bella. She's on twenty different prescription drugs and vodka. Can you really trust anything she has to say?"  
  
"What did your mother want?"  
  
"Oh, she wants me to come see her. Typical Mother bullshit. She just wants to see me so she can criticize me and talk about all of the things I could have done with my life."  
  
"So I'm guessing that you're not going to go."  
  
"Er, yeah." Regulus rolled his eyes. "Do you have to work today?"  
  
"No, but I'm busy."  
  
"Playing with your potions?"  
  
Severus turned back to the desk. "Yes. I'm working on something big. Something that could quite possibly get us out of here, Regulus."  
  
"What is it?" Regulus looked at him through veil of smoke.  
  
"I'm not really sure. When I get it, I'll know what it is."  
  
"Good luck then, Sev. You know that all goes over my head." Regulus took another hit. "I'm going back to bed. If you want to join me, you can. I'll just be whacking off until then."  
  
"You do that," Severus said. He began mixing the ingredients together, writing down what he was using with each addition. The blue liquid bubbled, turned red and steamed, and turned blue again.  
  
He sniffed it. It was acidic and his eyes flooded with tears. It was doing everything it's supposed to do. It was quite possibly finished. There was only one way to find out.  
  
Severus stood and went to the cabinet. In the back he found a syringe. After tying a scarf around his arm as tight as possible, he filled the syringe with the blue liquid. He tapped his arm, looking for a vein. He found one, and gave himself the shot. He took a breath and held it.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"Damnit!" Severus yelled, jumping to his feet. He threw the syringe across the room. He took in a breath. The energy from the throw seemed to have taken more out of him than he expected.  
  
He felt weak in the knees. He tumbled to the ground, hitting his head hard on the floor.  
  
"Damn..." he muttered. The lights were too bright, and the room began to spin. He tried to keep a grasp on where he was, but the apartment was slipping away.  
  
He was on a street corner. It was summer and the rain was pouring. He could see a figure through the rain. It was Regulus walking toward him.  
  
"Hey, lover." Regulus kissed him on the mouth.  
  
Severus stepped away. "Not in public."  
  
"You'll fuck me all night, but you can't kiss me during the day?" He didn't really seemed offended. He smiled and lit a cigarette. "You want one?"  
  
"Thank you." He took it and Regulus lit it for him.  
  
"Hey, you crazy wankers!"  
  
Severus looked into the eyes of a strange, handsome young man. He didn't know him, and was shocked at the open mouthed kiss he offered.  
  
"What the-"  
  
"Lay off," Regulus said. "This is my brother, Sirius."  
  
"Hello," Severus said.  
  
Sirius grinned. He looked at Regulus. "When did you start picking up stiffs like this?"  
  
"Lay off," Regulus said again. "He's good."  
  
"He pays the bills, then," Sirius said.  
  
Severus felt stuck. He couldn't move, he wanted to yell at this Sirius and take Regulus home and talk about where this relationship was going.  
  
"No, he's good." Regulus took the last drag from his cigarette and threw it to the ground. He stomped it out with his foot. "Are we going back to my place, Sev?"  
  
"Of course." Severus put his hand on Regulus' shoulder.  
  
"Coming, Sirius?" Regulus asked.  
  
"Sure. You got weed? No, that's a stupid question, of course you do. I've got cigarettes if you're interested, but knowing you, you're not." Sirius put his arm around Regulus waist. "Let's go, little brother."  
  
The three walked back to the Regulus' basement apartment. It was one room with a curtain around the toilet and bath. A mattress sat in the middle of the room against a wall, and a hanging bulb with a pull string was over it. The walls were lined with cardboard boxes.  
  
Regulus went straight to a box in the corner. He pulled out a baggie of weed. He tossed it to Sirius, who caught it. Severus sat on the mattress, his shoulder hunched.  
  
Sirius rolled a joint and lit it. He took a hit and smiled. "You get good shit, Reg." He offered it to Severus, who declined. "Stiff," he muttered.  
  
Regulus, cigarette in hand, sat next to Severus and kissed his neck. "Come on, Sev, take a hit. It's not going to kill you." He began unbuttoning Severus' shirt and rubbing his chest.  
  
"Stop it, you two, you're getting me hard." Sirius flopped on the mattress and stretched out behind them.  
  
"Relax, baby," Regulus purred in Severus' ear. He unbuttoned Severus' pants. "Come on, love. Take a hit. It's okay."  
  
"I just, I don't-" Severus sputtered.  
  
"All right, baby, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Regulus handed him the cigarette. "Smoke this, I'll share the joint with Sirius."  
  
Severus took the cigarette and Sirius handed Regulus the joint.  
  
Regulus moved and wrapped his legs around Severus. He started kissing his neck, and slid his free hand down Severus' pants. "Does that feel good?"  
  
"Ye-yeah, it does."  
  
"Aw, boys, this is so sweet, it's making me sick." Sirius jumped off the bed and crawled in front of Severus. "Let me show you what real sex is." He pulled Severus' pants down the rest of the way.  
  
"Stop," Severus said. It was one thing for Regulus to touch him, but he didn't want this strange man doing so. "St-stop it."  
  
Sirius wasn't listening and Regulus was busy smoking. Severus tried to stand up, but with Black brothers on either side of him, he couldn't budge.  
  
"You are so tense," Sirius muttered, running his hands over Severus' thighs. He put his mouth over Severus' penis.  
  
"God, stop it!" Severus said. "Regulus, stop him!"  
  
"Shhh, love. It's all right," Regulus said. "Everything's all right."  
  
"It's not! Make him stop!"  
  
Sirius sucked harder.  
  
"Come on, baby," Regulus muttered. "Come for him."  
  
"I don't want to. I don't want to..."  
  
He did anyway.  
  
Sirius got up and straddled Severus from the front and kissed him. "Relax, motherfucker, relax. I can fuck you a hundred times and you'll beg me for more. They all beg me for more."  
  
"I..." Severus tried to back away, but he only moved into Regulus.  
  
"Roll him over, Reg," Sirius said. "I want to make him scream."  
  
Regulus pulled away and grabbed Severus by the shoulder and pushed him over onto his stomach.  
  
Sirius pulled down his pants and climbed on top.  
  
"Severus! Severus! Wake up! Fuck it, wake up!"  
  
Severus opened his eyes. He could see a blurry figure standing over him. "Reg?"  
  
"Oh, thank the stars." Regulus leaned back and fell on his butt. "I thought you died. What the hell did you take? I don't keep drugs like that around, man."  
  
Severus sat up. "I know you don't," he said. "I, however, do."  
  
Regulus' bloodshot eyes widened. "What?"  
  
"It was an experiment. It didn't work." He wiped sweat from his brow.  
  
"What was it? What'd you take?"  
  
"Elixir."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's what I've been working on for the past month. It's supposed to flash you into your favorite memories, but it backfired. It sent me into one of my worst."  
  
"Sounds like good shit," Regulus said.  
  
"It's not. Ow!" Severus tried to stand, but he toppled over, landing next to Regulus. "What the hell?" He scrambled out of his pants. He looked at his penis, and it was bruised and sore to the touch.  
  
"We rocked hard last night." Regulus looked at lot more relaxed.  
  
"I don't think that was it. It hasn't been like that since... do you remember the night we spent at your old flat? With Sirius?"  
  
"Hell, yeah. It was a trippy night. It was hot."  
  
"It wasn't hot. Sirius did a lot of things that night that I would love to forget."  
  
"Oh? It was fun, I thought. We fucked a lot that night." Regulus grinned, putting his hand on Severus' thigh.  
  
"Sirius fucked me too. Even after I told him not to. He did a lot of things to me that I told him not to do. And you just went along with everything he said."  
  
"He's my brother! Besides, what difference does it make? It's old news, Sev."  
  
"It's not! That's the memory I was in, and I realize how much you just went along with everything!"  
  
"What are you getting up in my face for?" Regulus stood. "That was over a year ago, and you need to get over it!"  
  
"It's not just that!" Severus stood as well, pulling up his pants as he went. He put on his shoes and his cloak. "I'm leaving. I don't know when I'll be back. You've got enough weed to last you the night."  
  
He slammed the door behind him. He wasn't sure where he was going to go from here. 


	3. Chapter Three

Severus walked to Bella's apartment. She lived nearby, and hopefully she would be there. She spent a lot of her time at the flats of her beaus. There were too many to count. Some of them were as low class as she, but many were quite rich, usually married and she was their dirty little secret.  
  
He went inside her building. It wasn't the kind with any sort of security system, and if he remembered correctly, the locks on her door were broken. He tested the door, and he was right. He stepped inside.  
  
"Bella?"  
  
A head poked from around a corner. "Sev? What are you doing here?"  
  
He closed the door. "Regulus and I had a fight."  
  
Bella stepped from the corner and pulled him into a hug. She was wearing a naughty looking black slip under a dirty pink robe. She still hadn't brushed her hair. "Come on in. Sit down, I'll make us tea."  
  
Bella's apartment was only slightly better than his own. She had a nice looking flat with expensive looking furniture, all of them gifts from her many suitors.  
  
She pulled out her cracked wand and tapped a teapot and it steamed. She poured the water into chipped mugs. She added tea bags and shoved a mug at him. She sat down.  
  
"Tell me, Sev. What's going on?"  
  
"You remember when I said I was creating a superdrug?" He played with his mug.  
  
She nodded, lighting a cigarette.  
  
"I wasn't being sarcastic. I'm trying to create a line of magical elixirs to put into the Muggle society, but not so they're obvious, not like the drugs we have now. They'd be amazing, and you know the addicts out there, if it's a good trip, they'll pay top dollar."  
  
"You didn't test it on yourself, did you?" Bella asked.  
  
Severus nodded. "It didn't work."  
  
"Damn." She sipped her tea.  
  
"It made me remember spending the night with Regulus and Sirius."  
  
Bella cringed. "Regulus is a loser, but Sirius is a dickhead. He's always been a dickhead, and he'll always be a dickhead."  
  
"Well, that night wasn't an exception. Regulus turned out just as bad when he was around him. If I hadn't known him better, I probably would have left him then, but I knew it was just Sirius' influence."  
  
Bella brushed hair away from her face. "Do you want my honest opinion?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"You should have left him. You know he's only holding you back, Severus. You have a lot more to you than waiting for your next high."  
  
"I love him, Bella."  
  
"I know you do. Your drugs are good idea, and you're going to be a very rich man. My advice? When you do, drop him."  
  
"I couldn't do that!"  
  
She sighed. "You can do better. You know you can do better, but you're letting love blind you."  
  
"And should I live like you do?" Severus asked. "Spend every night with a different shagboy? Catch a hundred different diseases; chain smoke until I clutch my chest and die?"  
  
Bella chewed on the inside of her cheeks. Unfazed by his comments, she lit a new cigarette with the old, and squashed the dout in her ashtray. "I wouldn't recommend it, but if you want, I can give you some sound advice."  
  
Despite himself, Severus snorted a laugh. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean any of it."  
  
"Of course you did, but it's all right." She sighed again. "I'm not much of a role model, and I'm not one to tell you how to live your life. But you didn't come here just to get away, did you?"  
  
"I suppose not. I hate it when other people are right."  
  
She let the comments go. "So, Sev, tell me more about these drugs."  
  
"If all goes well, Elixir will eliminate acid. It has enough magic in it so, to a certain degree, you can control what you see in your trips. You can go into your fondest memories, imaginary worlds that you created, anything. So far the only side effects are that you can't control it, you go into horrible memories, and it's worse than any bad trip because it's more real than when it happened the first time through."  
  
"Sounds promising."  
  
"Yes, it sounds good, but anything can sound good."  
  
Bella smirked. "And you can make anything sound horrible and depressing."  
  
"I should go back home. I just walked out on Regulus."  
  
"If there's hash there, he won't be missing you."  
  
Severus stiffened. "Bella, when you said earlier about Regulus snorting, were you referring to one instance, or many?"  
  
"A few, at least that I know of." She shrugged. "But I wouldn't doubt that Regulus does a bit of everything, mattering on his mood. I've seen him drop acid, snort lines, shot heroin... Severus, I know you don't want to hear this, and I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't know the consequences. And there's no use confronting Regulus, you know, he'll come up with some excuse, or reason, or he'll simply deny it."  
  
"I know."  
  
Bella stood and hugged Severus around the neck, holding his cigarette out away from them. "You know, Sev," she said, not letting him go, "you've been more like a cousin to me than either of them. You're been more like a brother to me than my sisters were sisters. I don't want to see you hurt and I don't want to see you end up like me. You're better than all of us."  
  
"What happened to your sisters?" Severus had never met them, he was curious.  
  
Bella settled back into her seat. "Cissy married rich, had a snot-nosed son, and whenever I see her, she insists she's the happiest person on Earth while her face is covered in bruises. I haven't seen Andie since she graduated. She married a Muggle-born man and that's the last I heard of her. She doesn't have much to say to her whore of a sister. That's what she called me the last time we spoke."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be, I'm not. What they do with their lives, and how they see me, is their own thing. You don't see me that way, do you, Sev?"  
  
"From time to time. But for the most part, you're the only friend I have who doesn't try to fuck me or sell me drugs."  
  
She grinned. "Well, I don't always think that highly of you either."  
  
"I need to go." Severus stood. "Thank you, Bella."  
  
"No problem, Sev. Just think about what I said. Regulus isn't saving you, you're just a meal ticket, and if you leave, he won't be heart broken, he'll simply find another one."  
  
"I'll keep it in mind." He waved and left the apartment. He walked for a long time before he made his way back home.  
  
He entered the flat. "Regulus?"  
  
"Shit!"  
  
Severus felt his stomach turn to ice. He knew this wasn't a good sign. "Regulus?"  
  
"Coming, Sev!" Regulus stumbled out of the bedroom, struggling into a pair of pants. He grinned. "What's goin' on? I didn't think you'd be back so soon. You seemed awful mad."  
  
"I went to Bella's," Severus replied.  
  
"Did you fuck her? You fucked her didn't you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You love her, don't you? You like her better than me. You think we're fucked up because we guys, right? You're just going to dump me for her, aren't you? Aren't you?"  
  
"What the hell are you on?"  
  
"Nothing," Regulus started laughing. "I just ran out of weed so I had to call my man."  
  
"Mo's here?" Severus asked.  
  
"Fuck Mo. I can't afford his fucking shit. I went down to the corner, got in the booth, put in a dime, and called the Potter himself."  
  
"James?"  
  
Regulus grinned. "And his lady wife."  
  
Lily walked out of the bathroom, wiping her nose. She was naked, her breasts only covered by her extremely long hair. She smiled. "Hey, Severus. What's happenin'?"  
  
"I don't know," Severus replied. "You tell me."  
  
"Reg called us, he was out a hash, so here we are. Jimmy brought the coke, I set up some lines in the bathroom, if you're interested. I left a few. Jimmy'll take 'em, but if you want, we have more where that came from."  
  
"Don't call me Jimmy!" shouted a voice from the bedroom.  
  
Lily waved a hand in his direction. "So, anyway, Severus, how have you been?"  
  
"Better," Severus replied.  
  
"Really? Look, Sev, you just need a good high and you'll be right as rain." Lily winked. "Well, I have a husband to attend to. Reg, will you be joining us?"  
  
"No," Regulus said. "You go."  
  
"So they brought drugs and you fuck them both?" Severus guessed.  
  
Regulus snorted. "Well, you were off fucking my cousin."  
  
"I didn't touch her, and it doesn't matter."  
  
"Oh, come on, Sev." Regulus wrapped his arms around Severus' neck. "You're not mad, are you, baby?"  
  
"Regulus, you're shaking."  
  
"I just... too much weed and sex. Don't be jealous, they don't mean anything. It's just what you have to do to get what you need."  
  
"And all you needed was a supply of weed - are you sure you're all right? Regulus-"  
  
"I'm fine... just fine."  
  
Regulus passed out in his arms. 


	4. Chapter Four

Do you know what he took?"

"I'm not sure, I wasn't with him... marijuana for sure, maybe coke." Severus jogged along side wheeled bed that contained the passed out Regulus. Dr Mancusi asked him the questions while a nurse kept a note of Regulus' pulse.

The doctor looked concerned, but didn't say anything. They pushed the bed through a set of doors, and they held Severus back.

When Regulus fainted, Severus dropped to his side and began shaking him, slapping him, trying to wake him as Regulus had done to him that afternoon. When Regulus did not wake, Severus did not wait to ask James and Lily everything they had been taking. He gathered Regulus in his arms and took him to the clinic up the hill.

They had been here before, the first time Regulus overdosed, five months before. Dr Mancusi was the doctor last time, and he and Severus had a long conversation about Regulus' habits.

"Regulus keeps saying that this was the first time he's used heroin," Dr Mancusi has said. "And it's possible, it's not unlikely to overdose on first use. Plus, he was drinking, and the combination slowed his heart. Luckily his cousin saw him and brought him here. If he had gotten here much later, it would have been much too late."

"I didn't realize it was so bad," Severus said. "I thought it was just weed."

"Regulus, like many addicts, is good at hiding his problems through not even thinking or realizing that he has a problem." Dr Mancusi sighed. "O.D.'s are unpredictable. I can't tell you if he has one more O.D. in him, or twenty. No one knows which O.D. will be the last. The best bet is for him to stop now and not risk it."

"What can I do?"

Dr Mancusi handed him a pamplet. "There's no guareentee that anything will help, because in the end, it's Regulus' choice."

Severus paced in the waiting room. Regulus was on overdose number two. Would he make it through this one?

"What happened?"

He turned, and found himself staring at Lily. Thank the stars, she had gotten dressed.

"Regulus overdosed thanks to you," Severus snapped.

"Not thanks to me," she replied. "Thanks to himself. No one made him call Jimmy and me. No one made him snort the coke or smoke the weed. And God only knows what else he's been doing in his spare time. Don't blame me for Regulus' mistakes."

Severus set his jaw. She was right, and he hated it.

"Look, Sev, he'll be fine. Regulus is stronger than he looks." She rested a hand on his arm.

He sighed. "I know, but he's been through this once, I don't know if he can do it again. I... I need to call Bella." He went to the nearest phone booth, and tried calling her, but she was already gone.

Severus went back to the waiting room. He sat down next to Lily. She was the only company he had.

"Where's James?"

"Still at your place. I know you hate him, but he was too drunk to go anywhere. You know he's smalltime, but he's trying to get out there. People like Regulus who can't afford to good stuff, and are just itching for another high, that's what James does. He hates it. And... the coke is our fault. Regulus didn't ask for it."

"It's too late to throw blame around," Severus muttered.

She threw an arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sev. We shouldn't have fucked him. We should have known better."

"Lily, you're shaking just like Regulus was."

"No, I'm not. I'm high, but I'm being supportive and that's involving sitting still." She tapped the arm of the chair with her first two fingers. "I'm okay, Sev, it's just the coke, it'll go away soon enough. You don't need to be worrying about me when you're worrying about Reg."

I'm not worried about you, he thought.

Dr Mancusi walked into the room and Severus stood.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"He's stable, Severus. He'll be fine."

Severus' shoulders relaxed. "Thank the stars," he muttered.

"I've told you before, and I've told him, he needs to stop. But remember, Severus, it's his choice." Dr Mancusi looked at him closely. "Have you been taking something?"

"No," he said. Elixir wasn't taking something, it was more than that.

"Regulus should spend the night. We'll release him tomorrow afternoon. In the meantime, go home, get rid of all the drugs in your house, and get some rest. You look tired, Severus, like you need to think about yourself for a minute."

"I'm fine. I'll be sure to get rid of the drugs."

"Are you going to get busted?" Lily asked, her voice more high-pitched than normal.

"No," Dr Mancusi said. "As part of Regulus' patient confendentiality, we can't. Besides, these people don't need jail, they need help. Looks like you do too."

Lily jumped to her feet. "I need to get Jimmy. Tell Regulus get well for me, Sev. Catch you later." She hurried out of the clinic.

He shook his head. "You need to rethink the company you keep, Severus."

"I'm trying. I'm trying to make it better for Regulus and me," Severus said.

Dr Mancusi paused. "Come by at noon. Regulus will be ready to go."

"All right. Thank you." He turned to leave. He walked back to the flat. James and Lily had already left.

"What to do first," he muttered absently. He hadn't been alone in the apartment since Regulus moved in eight months before. He wasn't sure how to act alone.

Severus started cleaning. The coke lines were still in the bathroom, and he flushed them down the toilet. He went through the medicine cabinet. The only thing in there was aspirin. He figured that was all right to keep.

He moved to the bedroom and cringed. Two empty gin bottles littered the floor. He picked them up and threw them on the bed. He pulled off the sheets and wadded them into a ball. James Potter screwed his boyfriend on those sheets, he wasn't going to keep them.

He looked under the bed and pulled out an old shoebox. He opened it and it was empty. He tossed it on top of the sheets. No sense keeping it around. It was one less temptation.

He finished going through the bedroom, worked through the kitchen, and he looked at the Potions set on his desk.

These were drugs, no doubt, but how could he throw away their ticket out of this? There had to be some other option. He cleared the desk and put the Potions on the top shelf in the closet. They would be safe there.

He threw out the sheets and put on clean ones. These were blue and white striped, but they would have to do. He had nothing else. Besides, it would be nice to have fresh sheets on the bed for Regulus' return. Like a sign that things would be different.

He stretched out on the bed and fell asleep, still wearing his shoes. At least this wouldn't be another long night. 


	5. Chapter Five

Severus didn't like charity work. He was selective about the people he cared for. He cared for Regulus, he cared for Bella, and little else. So it was a surprise he opened the door the next morning.

It was the rapping on the door that woke him. He stumbled out of bed, checking his watch as he made his way to the door. It was seven in the morning. He didn't know anyone was awake at this hour.

"If it's one of those church people, I'm going to Avada Kedavra something," he muttered. He opened the door. "What do you-"

"Severus, please-"

Severus closed the door. He turned away, and leaned against the door. Was he on Elixir? Had he taken it? He couldn't remember. Was this a memory? He wasn't sure. Was he imagining this?

"Severus?"

This couldn't be real. All of his ghosts from the past were suddenly coming to haunt him. This had be a bad trip. He swallowed the nothing in his throat. "Yes?"

"Let me in, please. Please."

"Go away," he hissed, sliding down onto the floor. "Wake up. Wake up now!"

"I'm opening the door."

"Go away!" Severus pinched his arm. It hurt. This wasn't a dream. However, it could still be Elixir. He tried to remember taking it. No, he went to sleep. Regulus overdosed and then he came back and threw out all of the drugs. Except for the Potions.

He jumped up and opened the closet door. The Potions were there, untouched. This was real.

Severus turned to the door and opened it slowly. "What do you want here? What do you want with me?"

Remus looked at him with tired eyes. "Just a shower. And a hot meal, perhaps?"

"There's no food here."

"Then I'll just take the shower." Remus stumbled in, walking with a limp that Severus couldn't remember him having before.

"Help yourself," Severus said in an unnaturally pleasant voice.

Remus noticed and gave him a strange look. He did not comment on it, though. He pulled off his threadbare winter coat and tatty jumper. He stood in the living room in his dirty t-shirt, work pants, and boots. "Which way, then?"

"Down the hall. First door."

"Still with Regulus?" Remus asked as he made his slow way to the hall.

"Yes. He'll be home at noon."

"Not here?"

"He, uh, he spent the night at the clinic."

Remus stopped. "Is he ill?" His voice made it clear he knew better.

"Overdose," Severus said. "Are you still with Sirius?"

"No. No more." Remus didn't say another word as he limped down the hall.

Severus pondered his next move. He pulled his cloak from the closet then locked the closet door. He reached into the pocket, retrieved a rubber band and pulled his hair into a greasy ponytail. He felt around and slipped his fingers into the lining and found a ten pound note.

As the old pipes squealed from use of hot water, Severus left. He went to the grocery and got a few staples. He thought about work, and how he should be there in three hours. With Regulus, with everything, he couldn't be bothered with work.

He used the bit of change he had left to leave the shop a message from the pay phone on the corner.

Severus went back to the apartment, shifting the paper bag in his hands. He closed the door with a push from the heel of his foot. He stepped into the kitchen to see Remus standing at the sink, wrapped only in a towel. Severus could see a nasty looking scar that went from just above the back of Remus' right knee, to his ankle. It looked like his leg had been split open.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked.

"Rinsing out a few of my clothes. I only have one set," Remus replied. "I hoped that I'd finish before you got back."

"Not with drying," he said. "Put on some of Regulus' old things. I'll take those down to laundry."

"No, it's fine. Fine. I don't want to wear his clothes."

Severus chewed on his tongue for a moment. He swallowed and asked, "What happened? To your leg, I mean."

"Sirius. You know how he is."

"I do, but that doesn't explain."

Remus' jaw stiffened. "Sirius enjoyed my afflictions. He took pleasure in..."

Severus had nearly forgotten. The scars across Remus' face, they had always been there, and he spent years never suspecting that those scars were connected to Remus' lycanthropy.

"He enjoyed the transformation," Remus finished. "Either direction."

"Ugh." Severus hadn't meant that to be said aloud. He could remember once when Remus was a friend, when he was more than a friend. They would study together in the libraries and discuss herbology (both for class and recreational) in hushed voices, and Remus would put his hand over Severus'. When they would kiss in the dormitories when no one else was there.

Severus dropped out of university first. It didn't take long for them to break, when Remus was still busy with his studies and Severus was slipping into his drugs. Three nights later, Severus found himself at a party, waking up with his face between the legs of a strange witch, in the company of a handsome young man smoking a joint.

"I know," Remus said. "I never really had much say. Especially at the end of the night."

"You're still human, Remus," Severus said. It was a familiar saying. He had said it many times before.

Remus shrugged, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

"You can blame me, if you want. I'm the one who introduced him to you. I did it when I knew he was as he was."

"Did you sic him on me, Severus? Still holding a schoolboy grudge, and you took the nastiest man on the face of the Earth and sent him on me. Oh, Sirius is handsome and charming, but he takes everything good inside of your and sucks it out, leaving a shell of discontent."

"No! No, I would never, Remus."

"Oh fuck it. I spent a very long time trying to convince myself that I hated you, and I never did. I wouldn't come here if I did. I left you in university because I needed to concentrate on school when you only wanted drugs. I knew that you hated me for it, but our lives were different.

"When Sirius did this to me. My leg, he did that to me. I blamed you, I did. But I'm above that now. I could have said no to him. At the beginning. Before he sucked me in. Before he threw me into the world that I had been trying to avoid. I graduated from university with honors. With honors, Severus. And do you know what I've done with that? Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. Because I got involved in drugs. Not like when we were at school, that was nothing compared to the shit I've put in my body and fucked up my life. It was my fault. I can't even blame Sirius for that."

Severus had no response to that.

"I can't get a job. I have scars on my face from a childish mistake. I have a scar on my leg because one night when I was still a wolf, Sirius tried to screw me. I was out of control. He panicked and he pulled a knife on me. By the time I had transformed back into a human, he me in shreds. As far as I know, I tried to attack him and he tried to cut off my leg. He was so wasted that while I was lying on the floor bleeding to death, he was laughing so hard I could hardly get the story out of him. Let alone get him to call an ambulance. For a while, I used a cane, but I had to pawn it so I could buy food. When I left Sirius, I knew that I was leaving his family's fortune." Remus turned away and seemed to be finished.

Severus silently made sandwiches. Words really were not an option at this point.

They ate and Remus got dressed in his damp clothes.

"Thank you, Severus," Remus said. "Give my best to Regulus."

Severus paused. "Stay, will you?"

"I don't want to impose."

"This is a clean house. You wouldn't have to worry about that. Not from me, not anymore."

"It's not that," Remus said. "It's... I know you, Severus. Probably better than you know yourself. You love Regulus. You love him more than you could have ever even conceived loving me. No matter what shit you two have gone through, you went on to something better. Unlike me. Honestly, I don't know if I could stand to sit by and watch that."

Severus hated being wrong. He hated it when other people were right. However, he never knew how to act when people were wrong, and there was nothing he had done to be right. And things had always been different with Remus.

"I don't think that's... that's not right. I've never-"

Remus held up a hand. "It's all right."

"No, it's not. Yes, I love Regulus. I love him a lot. But you were the first. Every time, everything, with you it was first. Nothing can take that back."

"Well, let me tell you, Severus Snape, everything, with you was the last. When it really mattered. I can't stay."

"At least until Regulus gets home. You can rest. Take a load off your leg."

Remus considered. "All right." 


	6. Chapter Six

Severus left Remus at the apartment. He stopped in at the store and told them the circumstances. He asked for the rest of the week off to care for Regulus. With reluctance, they let him off until Monday.

He walked to the clinic. "Regulus Black, please. They said he'd be ready noon," Severus told the woman at the front desk.

"Of course. Mr. Black is in room 203. Dr. Mancusi will be there to sign him out."

Severus walked to the room and Regulus was lying in a bed looking small and pale.

"Regulus?"

Regulus' eyes fluttered open. "Hey, man. How's it hanging?"

"It's all right. And you?"

"Never fuckin' better. They gave me some patch last night and that was great. But today I'm flying solo."

"Good. Very good." Severus sat on the edge of the bed and took Regulus' hand in his own. There was a strange sort of comfort in it.

"I can't wait to get back home," Regulus said, "I had a dream last night about you and me. Back at my old flat. I hated that place. Half the shit in those boxes weren't even mine, you know. But in the dream, we were at the flat, and, uh, we were smoking a joint and you told me you didn't want to be with me anymore. And I woke up scared. It must have been the lack of drugs or something, because I'm never scared. I don't want you to leave me, Sev. I'll do anything. I know you hate the drugs, so I'll stop. I quit. No one else would have ever taken care of me this long."

"Regulus, you don't know how happy I am to hear that," Severus said. He leaned down and gave Regulus a kiss.

"Sorry to interrupt," Dr. Mancusi said, walking into the room. He was smiling. "Regulus, are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah," Regulus said.

"I just need to check your stats and you'll be ready."

Severus waited in the hall until Dr. Mancusi was finished. "How is he?" Severus asked when the doctor stepped out of the room.

"Not one hundred percent, but good enough to go home. You have all the drugs gone, right, Severus?"

"Yessir."

"As long as he doesn't get them from an outside source, Regulus should be fine. Take him home."

Twenty minutes later, Severus and Regulus were walking hand in hand down the hill.

"I had a visitor this morning," Severus said.

"Oh?"

"Remus Lupin. You remember him, don't you?"

Regulus was quiet for a moment. "Your university mate. That one that dates Sirius. Did he come around looking for a shag?"

"No, but if he was, he wouldn't have gotten it. You know that, right?"

"Of course. He still there? Give him a lay up for a night?"

"Yeah, he's still there. He's in bad shape. I just thought... help an old friend."

"That's not like you."

Severus sighed. "No, I guess not. I should try and call Bella. I couldn't get a hold of her. To let her know what's happening."

"Bella..." Regulus seemed to be a thousand miles away now.

He didn't reply. Severus knew that a sober Regulus was going to be different. He wasn't going to be the same man. Hopefully, it would be for the better. Things really couldn't have gotten much worse.

They went upstairs and saw that there was no need to call Bella.

"Oh fuck you, Regulus!" she screamed, giving him a hug. "How the fuck could you have gotten yourself in the clinic and not told me? That's your fault, isn't it, Severus? I had to hear it from wolf boy over here."

"Couldn't have gotten dressed up for my arrivial, could you, Bella?" Regulus quipped.

Bella shook her head. She was in another slip dress and her long coat and heels. Her hair was a matted mess, not brushed from a long night with a married man. "Now if it had been my boy Severus laid up in hospital, you know I'd be in my diamonds and pearls."

"Of course," Severus muttered, closing the door.

Bella pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She held them out. "Anyone? Or are we too clean for nicotine?"

Regulus and Severus both accepted.

"Where is Remus?" Regulus asked. "I'd like to see him."

"You'd like to get a good look to see if he shagged your man," Bella said. "Back in the loo. He's a scruffy sort of guy. Scary, limp and wolf all in one. And fucked around with Sirius? Am I the only one in the world who hasn't done Sirius? Really, am I?"

"Probably," Severus said. He was getting an itchy sort of feeling in the back of neck. He didn't like all these people here. He wished they'd all leave so he could be with Regulus alone.

"I'm leaving," Bella said, obviously taking notice of Severus. She rested a hand on his shoulder. "Remember what I said, 'kay, boy?"

Severus nodded and Bella left after kissing Regulus on the cheek.

Regulus turned and faced Severus, staring up in his eyes. His fingers traced along Severus' cheek, down into the corner of his mouth. "You know, you're even more beautiful without the haze."

For the first time, in what felt like years, Severus smiled. He pushed the hair from Regulus' face. "Thank you."

There was a cough from the hall.

Regulus turned and studied Remus for a moment, before, apparently, approving. "Hello, Remus, isn't it? I don't think we've met."

"We have," Remus said, shaking Regulus' hand anyhow. "Once."

"I was probably past the kites," Regulus replied. He jabbed his head to Severus. "I can see what you saw in him. You have such good taste."

Remus chuckled appreciatively while Severus felt a strange senstion of jealousy and anger in his stomach. He didn't like Regulus being attracted to Remus, though he, himself, still felt a sort of attraction to his old friend.

"I don't know what to do," Regulus said. "I feel like I should light a joint, but I know that there's nothing here. Is there, Sev?"

Severus shook his head. "There's no drugs. And there won't be."

"I made some lunch for you, Regulus," Remus said. "There was enough for two more sandwiches, if you're hungry."

"Starved," Regulus replied. He went into the kitchen and sat the table. However, he didn't eat. He only picked at the food while Severus and Remus talked.

"Seen anyone from the old crowd lately?" Remus asked casually.

"No, not unless you count... you wouldn't," Severus said. He wished to forget that James and Lily Potter ever stepped foot into this apartment. "Just Bella, but you never knew her, did you?"

"Not really. Just what I knew of her from you and from Sirius."

"How is Sirius?" Regulus asked. "I haven't seen him since I moved in here."

Remus sighed. "His usual self. Probably shacked up with another idiot like myself."

"You're not an idiot," Severus snapped. "What happened to graduating from university with honors?"

"They mean nothing now. Nothing now that I've gone and screwed myself up. I thought we were over this."

"You can always start over," Regulus said, his voice faint. He picked at the crusts of his bread. "I think I've finally figured that one out."

Severus tucked a lock of hair behind Regulus' ear. "Are you tired?"

He nodded. "I'll be in bed."

Regulus left the room. Severus watched him until he was gone. He turned back to Remus, who was smiling.

I was right. "You truly do love him."

Severus raised his eyebrows and put away the remains of the sandwiches. "I just can't imagine what it would be like without him."

Remus relaxed in his chair. "I should go."

"Regulus likes you," Severus replied. He mindlessly washed the plate.

"I suppose."

"He doesn't take to just anyone. And he knows we were together."

"Does he know that there are parts of me that still love you?"

Severus looked over his shoulder. "I'm not sure."

"He hasn't anything to worry about. I'm not fast enough to run from him if something happened," Remus said with a flippant laugh. "I know you wouldn't give anything in return anyhow."

"I didn't ask you to stay for us to discuss this. I certainly not when you really should be staying here with us. And not going back out into the world. Remus, why don't you stay? We could make up the couch... after we buy a couch. It would mean so much. You could get back on your feet."

"Severus," Remus said, "it's a kind offer, but it wouldn't work."

"I'll talk to Regulus about it. If he doesn't mind."

"I'll mind."

"He won't," Severus said. "Please, Remus. I can look at you and see that you need a hand. You know this is killing me. You know I hate charity work. So stop fighting me before I curse you into staying."

"Talk to Regulus. Then we'll see."

Severus smiled. "You can bet I will." 


	7. Chapter Seven

It had been a month since Regulus came home from the clinic and things had changed. The living room was now crowded with a secondhand couch and an opened shabby suitcase stashed in the corner now filled with thrifted clothing. The cabinets were stocked with food, and the place smelled clean, and the apartment was cleared of all drugs.

Except for, of course, the Potions in the high shelf of the closet.

Severus opened the door to the apartment. "Anyone home?"

"Back here!" Regulus called from the kitchen. Severus followed the sound of his voice.

"Hey... what are you doing?"

Regulus had papers spread out across the kitchen table. He was busy filling them out, and appeared to only have been through the first three or four.

He looked up and grinned. "I'm filling out applications for a job. I've been freeloading off you for so long, it hardly seems fair."

Perhaps if he was the sort of man who cried, Severus may have, but he wasn't, so he did not. However, he smiled and sat down next to Regulus. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have seen what I could do about getting you a job at the shop."

"I probably won't get a job," Regulus said. "Considering I haven't worked a day in my life. For all we know I'm lazy. In fact I know I am."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Severus said.

"It's strange, you know," Regulus replied, ignoring Severus' request. "It's been a month now and I haven't done any drugs. I don't know how to act. I think 'Hey, it must be time for a joint.' I'm a different person. I feel weird all the time now. So, this is what it's like to be clean. It's all fucked up. Do you like this new person?"

"I do. Regulus, I don't think you're aware that I love you. I don't think you could ever change so far that I wouldn't love you anymore."

Regulus stared at him. "You love me?"

"Of course."

"Oh... wow." Regulus wrapped his arms around Severus' neck and kissed him. "Do you know when Remus will be back?"

"No idea."

"Do you think we have time to...?"

"Yes," Severus decided.

Regulus didn't finish filling out applications that night.

The next day on his way home from work Severus ran into Lily Potter.

She smiled. "Severus! How wonderful to see you. How are you? How's Regulus?"

"I'm well. Regulus is doing better than ever. We're doing better than ever, both of us."

"That's great," she said. "Jimmy said that he heard Remus Lupin moved in with you guys. Weren't you two together? How's that working out?"

"Well," he replied. "It's working out very well."

"I'm so glad to hear it. After the last time we saw each other... I thought things were going to be downhill. But things are going great for Jimmy and me too. He's moved up, moved up a lot." She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "He saw Regulus the other day, and said he looked really good."

Severus smiled. "He's eating better. James got a... promotion?"

"There's a new man on the street. He's taking in the small guys, seeing what they can do. Apparently he was very popular in Germany. He deals magical drugs, mostly. He doesn't bother with silly Muggle things. He doesn't care much for me, that's for sure," Lily said. "Being Muggle-born isn't favored, but he likes Jimmy."

"Since when have you and James dealt in magical drugs?"

"Since now. Jimmy still deals Muggle drugs on the side, but what we get in... we're bringing in so much more. He really feels like he's doing something with himself. I'm so proud of him."

"Good. Give him my best," Severus said without conviction. He continued walking home.

"Severus," Remus said, slightly panicked, as Severus walked through the door. Remus grabbed him by the shoulder. "Severus you have to stop this."

"Stop what?" he asked.

"What Regulus is doing. You have to stop him. He won't listen to me."

Severus pushed past him and went into the kitchen. This time, instead of papers sprawled across the table, it was green plastic bags. He looked at Regulus. "What's going on? What is all of this?"

"I found a job," Regulus said, smiling.

"What is it?"

"I got picked up by a new dealer. He sells magic drugs. Like the old ones we did back in the day." Regulus picked up one of the bags. "This is a kit to basically shoot up nearly anything you want. The glass is unbreakable and there's twenty needles, more than enough to start out for. And do you want to know how much one of these goes for?"

"No," Severus said. "I don't want to know. I thought this was a clean house."

"It is! I'm not doing this stuff, I'm selling it. I wanted to get a job, and, look, I'm good at this. I know where to go, what circles."

"I don't want that shit in the house!"

Regulus' pleased face turned dark. "And what's that in the closet? Enough Potions to make a jolly batch of pumpkin juice?"

"Th-that's different," Severus said.

"No, it's not. It's drugs that I haven't touched. I know that they're there, but I haven't touched them, not once. Even when I wanted to, even when I wanted to choke down a bottle of aspirin, I didn't. I stayed clean. And you know what, Sev? It was for you. When I wanted to go down and buy something, I didn't because I thought of you."

"Regulus-"

"No! You don't trust me to keep this stuff? I won't keep it. I'll sell it and make the profit. And then maybe I'll take that profit and move somewhere else. Someplace where I can do whatever I want."

"Regulus, be reasonable. I'm thinking of you. Do you really want to get involved with a drug dealer? Do you want to become one?"

"Maybe I do," Regulus said. "I know what I'm doing here. I know what it's like to need a fix. Maybe you're too holy to remember what it's like, but I do. These people are desperate."

"Regulus, Severus," Remus said in a gentle tone, "why don't we see how things go, slowly? Regulus can sell the kits, and if things go well, he'll stay, the drugs will stay, and the job will stay. If they go badly, Regulus, you need to get rid of the drugs and find another job."

"Reasonable enough," Severus said.

"I'm going to put these away," Regulus said, pushing his hair away from his face. His stubborn refusal for a direct answer clearly meant he agreed. At least that's how Severus took it.

Regulus shoved the bags into a cardboard box and shoved past Severus. "Of course you'll agree with your old shagboy."

Severus followed Regulus down the hall. "Regulus! Talk to me!" His voice was short and commanding.

"What?" Regulus turned. "What do you want to know? What more could you want to know?"

"This dealer, he's working with James Potter too, right?"

"Yeah, so what if he is?"

"When did you see James last?"

Regulus paused, his face going pale. "Three days ago."

"Did... James tell you about the dealer?"

"No. The dealer sought me out." Regulus was staring past Severus, not meeting his eye. "I saw James at a meeting with him. I wasn't sure if I was going to take the job. That's why I was filling out those applications. I swear, Sev."

Severus didn't respond to that. He simply asked, "This dealer, what's his name?"

Regulus then looked Severus in the eye and replied, "Voldemort." 


	8. Chapter Eight

"Severus? Severus, wake up."

His eyes opened to Remus leaning over him. "What?" he asked, without moving.

"Regulus is gone."

"Gone?"

"He left with his stash this morning."

Severus sat up. "The entire thing? All of it?"

Remus nodded. "I'm concerned. The other day, when he said that he would leave when he made profit... you don't think he really meant it, do you? He wouldn't leave you, would he?"

"I'm not sure," Severus said, getting out of bed. "He's only had the kits for a week now, how much profit could he have made?"

"I don't know."

"We have to find him. We need to bring him back. He didn't... seem that angry afterwards."

"No," Remus agreed carefully. "But we do need to find him. His leaving, his leaving without you, it seems suspicious."

Severus glared at his old friend. "Suspicious of what?"

"That something is going wrong with his... new job."

Refusing to look at Remus, he got dressed as quickly as possible. He hurried into the living room. "Do you have any idea where he went?"

"He wouldn't have told me," Remus replied, still in the hall. He stopped in the entrance of the hallway and leaned against his new cane. "And I don't think you should be blaming me for the problems with Regulus. He has a mind of his own."

"I'm not-" Severus started, but then he paused. "I won't."

"Thank you."

Severus put on his shoes, but before he could reach his coat, there was a banging at the door. He and Remus exchanged a look.

"Bellatrix?" Remus suggested.

"She never knocks, she just walks right in," Severus replied. "Regulus has a key."

The banging continued.

"We should answer it."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Remus said.

"Me too," Severus agreed.

The door began to crack and splinter.

"We can't let them break down the door!" Severus said, suddenly angry. He ran over to the door and opened it. "What do you-"

He stopped with a gasp. His eyes narrowed and he growled, "What do you want?"

Sirius, his face pale and sickly looking, walked through the door. He didn't seem to register Severus, but set his bloodshot eyes on Remus. "Baby, Remus, where'd you go?"

"I left a horrible man," Remus said. "And I'm not wanting to come back."

"Remuuuuuuus," Sirius said, falling onto his knees in front of Remus. "Baby, I need you. Baby, baby, please."

"Get out of here."

"Remus, I lost it all. It's all gone."

Remus' expression changed from pure hatred for the first time. "What?"

"The money, I lost it all. Mother won't give me anymore. I'm lost without you, Remus. I'm lost. You kept me here."

"And you kept me lost. You deserve what you've got. And bringing me back into your life isn't going to change anything. Why don't you try living on the streets for a while, Sirius Black? Perhaps then you could understand what's it's truly like to be without."

"Remus!" Sirius moaned.

"Get out of here. You're not welcome here."

Sirius looked around, suddenly noticed Severus. His eyes widened. "Snape? You're with motherfucking Severus Snape? The asswipe my brother was with?"

"No," Remus said. "I'm not with Severus. Your brother still is. And I think I can say without the need to ask, that anyone is an improvement from you."

"Look at me!" Sirius cried. "Look! I haven't had a fix in days. I don't have any money! I've got nothing!"

"Then you truly have what you are!" Remus roared. His hands were shaking. "Now, get out of this place. You're not welcome here."

Sirius didn't even bother to stand. He simply crawled from the apartment.

Remus hobbled to the door. "And for your information, Sirius, Severus is more of a man than you could ever imagine being. So you should think twice before you insult him. Particularly in my presence."

He turned back into the apartment. "We need to find Regulus. If I know Sirius, which, sadly, I do, he'll look for the next way out. If he knows that Regulus is with you, then he knows that Regulus is around here."

Severus got his coat from the closet. "Let's go, then."

Three hours later, they found themselves back at the apartment, without Regulus.

"So," Severus said, "what do we do?"

Remus shook his head and sat down at the kitchen table. He propped his leg up on next chair and rubbed it, his face contorting painfully. "I don't know, Severus. I'm not sure where else to look. Neither of us are as knowledgeable of the underground as Regulus is."

"I was once, but, times have changed," Severus said. "I don't know where to go next."

The door clicked open and Severus jumped to his feet. "Regulus? Is that you?"

"Yes... it is."

Regulus walked into the kitchen in the arms of another man. The man was holding a gun to Regulus' head.

Severus' breath was caught in his throat. "Regulus- what? Who? I-"

"Shut up!" shouted the gun-wielding man.

"Let me go, Macnair," Regulus said. "I'm not going anywhere. And you're not going to shoot me."

"I might if you piss me off," Macnair growled.

Regulus shook, but his face showed no fear. "Not until I pay up."

Macnair shoved Regulus into Severus' arms. "You owe Voldemort money. This is a warning. Pay, or you're dead."

"I'm shaking in my boots," Regulus snapped.

"You should be." Macnair raised his gun again, but this time, he pointed it at Remus and fired. He turned and fled.

Remus yelped and fell over backwards in his chair.

Regulus was the first to his side. "Remus! Remus, I'm sorry, did he get you? Oh, god, you're bleeding!"

Severus knelt down as well and together, he and Regulus helped Remus up and into another chair.

"I'm fine," Remus said. "He barely got me. Look, he skimmed."

Regulus and Severus helped Remus out of his shirt and Regulus went to the bathroom to look for gauze and peroxide.

Severus held a dish towel against the wound. "Are you all right?"

Remus nodded. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"What do you think happened?"

"No idea. I think Regulus got himself in the trouble we conceived him to be into."

Severus nodded.

Regulus came back into the room. "We have everything, here." He handed the peroxide to Severus. "Should I get another towel for it?"

"No, this is fine," Severus said, cleaning the wound.

Remus gasped, gritting his teeth. "You'd think I'd be used to pain," he said, forcing a smile.

Severus didn't reply. He simply finished cleaning the wound and wrapped it in gauze. "All done. If it was any worse, we'd probably have to get stitches. You're lucky."

"This is the luckiest day of my life," Remus said dryly.

"Mine too," Severus said, looking to Regulus. "Would you like to tell us what that was about happened? Why Remus just got shot by your... friends, there?"

"Macnair isn't my friend," Regulus said. "He's an asshole."

"I gathered that."

"He works for Voldemort. He goes after the guys who don't give him his cut. I'm a little short. So, Sev, I was thinking, you could give me a loan. I'd pay you back every cent, and you know I would. I wouldn't lie to you..." Regulus trailed off. "Yeah, actually I would. Because I did."

"About what? You... why are you short?" Severus asked.

"I... borrowed one of the kits."

"Borrowed."

"Yes. Those kits, I've sold twenty of them, and my cut, which is good shit, isn't enough to cover it."

Remus pondered this for a moment. "One kit costs more than your entire profit for twenty?"

Regulus glared at him. "No, it doesn't. But the cost of..."

"The cost of what?" Severus snapped. "The cost of what?"

"Heroin, is that what you want to hear? Did you really think, were so deluded, Sev, that you didn't realize that I've been a lying fuck all this time? Did you think that I could stop after one night? After one fucking OD? Remus knew. he's not so fucking blinded." Regulus threw his arms in the air. "I'm not an idiot. And I'm still using. I just got a hell of a lot better at hiding it."

Severus looked as if he'd been slapped. His face was pale, even for his own pallid color. "Heroin."

"And Rahir'n."

"What?"

"Magic drug," Regulus said, his voice just above a whisper. "Voldemort brought it in, and I tried some. It's great shit. I couldn't stop."

"Do you want to stop?" Severus asked. "For real?"

"No," Regulus replied.

"Well, thank you for being honest."

Regulus let out a long sigh. "I don't want to disappoint you anymore, Sev. I have to get out of this. It's only been a week now, and I'm in too deep with Voldemort. He's a scary guy. If I end up dead, you'd be better off, that's for sure."

"It's not true," Severus said. "How much do you owe?"

"A lot." Regulus' eyes lit up. "Sev, your drug, your stuff."

"Elixir? What about it?"

"You get it ready, I give it to Voldemort, we make a thousand Galleons, we get the hell out of here. We can do this. We get into a better life, maybe I'll just quit. In fact, Sev, if you get me out of this, I'll stop everything. I promise, I promise."

"Elixir isn't ready," Severus said. "It's nowhere near ready."

"It's my only hope," Regulus said. "It's the only choice I'm got. I can't afford to pay Voldemort back. I took the kit, I took the Rahir'n. They're all his. Sev, you gotta save me."

Severus paused. After all the lies, he wasn't sure. He sighed. "I will." 


	9. Chapter Nine

"When do you think he'll come?"

Severus looked over his shoulder at Remus. He wasn't too keen on this new, nosy sort of Remus that was hanging around. But perhaps it was part of a balance. Remus was certainly everything that Regulus was not. And Severus found himself between the two of them. Remus was a pull into common sense.

"I'm not really sure," Severus replied. "I'm working as hard as I can, but I'm feeling very reluctant to try it out until I'm completely certain that it's right. I think it is, I think it's good, but after the last time I tested it... Let's just say that it wasn't pleasant."

Remus was silent for such a long time, Severus decided he wasn't going to reply, so he continued to work.

Another ten minutes passed before Remus spoke. "I'll try it."

This time, Severus turned all the way around. "Excuse me?"

"I'll test it for you. If it works, then it can't be all that bad."

"What you don't understand is when it doesn't work, it's not a simple sort of overdose risk, it will transport you into your worst memory."

Remus pursed his lips. He let out a long sigh and nodded. "I'll do it, Severus. At least... at least I'd know what happened that night. For sure."

"I don't know about this, Remus."

"If you don't give it to me, I will take myself." Remus' voice was deadly serious. "I don't know how to take it, so you might as well give it to me."

"What happened to 'all the shit in my body,' wanting to get out of this world?"

He shook his head. "I knew when I stayed here that I wouldn't be out of this world."

"You knew that Regulus was still using," Severus said in an even tone.

"It wasn't my place to tell you," Remus said. "And I didn't know for sure. I suspected, though."

"So you never... saw him use?"

"No, I never did. Now, Severus, are you going to give me Elixir? Show me how to use it." Remus' face was set. "If you're so pissed off, give it to me the wrong way, huh? Fuck it up?"

"I wouldn't do that!" Severus snapped. "I may be angry, but I wouldn't try to kill you! I'm not Sirius."

Remus forced a smile. "I know. So, let's get this on."

"All right, if you have to. Go ahead and sit down on the floor. If you're standing or in a chair, you'll probably end up on the floor anyway."

Remus did as he was told, slowly, gritting his teeth has he bent his scarred leg at the knee. He stretched it straight out on the floor. He looked up. "Okay, what next?"

Severus gathered up a syringe and a clean needle, along with a scarf. He sat down next to Remus. "Hold out your arm."

Again, Remus did as he was told. He gave his friend a shaky smile. "Have I mentioned that I hate needles? Can't I drink it?"

"Sorry, no. It works in the bloodstream. It will catch itself on the cells that are going to your brain. That's why it takes a moment or two for it to begin to work."

"It sounds complex."

"Because it is. That's why I've had so much trouble with it. It's possibly one of the most complex potions I've ever developed."

"When does it stop being a potion and turn into a drug?" Remus asked.

"When it leaves the needle and enters your vein," Severus replied. He pulled the scarf tight around Remus' arm and filled the syringe. He sighed and looked at Remus. "You ready?"

He looked warily at the needle and then nodded. "Do it, Severus. Quickly before I change my mind."

Maybe he was wrong about Remus and common sense. Severus stuck Remus with the needle.

Remus waited. "So, it takes a minute?"

Severus nodded.

"I just wanted to tell you that if this works, I'll be seeing you." Remus grabbed Severus around the wrist and did not let go until he was passed out.

Severus wasn't sure when he would know if the drug was working, but he was concerned. He didn't like this at all, and Remus' breathing was shorter, but not knowing what he was seeing, it could be anything.

Remus started twitching and Severus grabbed him by the hand. "Remus? Remus, if you can hear me, if you need out..."

He didn't reply, of course, Severus wasn't expecting it, but he had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach and Remus began to growl in the back of his throat. Finally, Remus screamed and blood was already seeping through his pant leg.

"Oh god, oh shit!" Severus said. He ran into the kitchen and grabbed the dish towels what was left of the gauze. When we ran back into the living room, Regulus was already there, looking ruffled from sleep, but wide awake.

"What's going on?" Regulus asked.

"Remus took Elixir," Severus explained. "It's not working. Help me get off his pants."

If Regulus was surprised by the request, he didn't show it. He did as Severus asked, while Remus was still screaming.

The scar on Remus' leg was stretched open wide, the bone visible.

"This isn't going to work!" Regulus said, trying to pull the skin together. "It's too much! We have to get him to the clinic. Now."

"How? We can't carry him, not like this," Severus said, trying his best not to panic. It wasn't until after the words were out of his mouth the realized what to do. Living among Muggles, Severus rarely used magic anymore. He pulled his wand from his pocket and froze Remus' leg.

"How did you...?" Regulus asked. "I never knew that spell."

"It doesn't matter. It'll keep the wound as is until we can get him to the clinic. Come on, Regulus, help me."

Severus and Regulus together, lifted Remus off the floor and out of the apartment.

"For being so thin, how is he so heavy?" Regulus asked as they walked up the hill.

Severus did not reply, he simply put his energy into heaving Remus to the clinic.

They went in and didn't have to wait. However, the doctor, someone Severus did not know, was terribly suspicious about Remus' unconscious state and the freezing on his leg.

"What happened here?"

"Who gives a damn, just stitch him up!" Severus shouted as they took Remus down the hall on a gurney.

Half an hour later, the doctor, who then introduced himself as Dr. Dolen, came back out. "Your friend will be fine. His leg will probably end up looking much worse, what with another layer of scar tissue. Any chance he had of the scar fading is now gone."

Severus nodded. "But he didn't lose a lot of blood?"

"No. You did the right thing, pressure and bringing him here. However, there are a few things that we need to talk about."

"Is he awake?" Regulus asked rudely.

"Yes, he is."

"Can we see him?"

Dr. Dolen scowled, but then he nodded. "Perhaps we should talk about this with him anyhow."

They went down the hall to a room where Remus was awake, but looking paler than usual. "Hey, Severus. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Severus replied, patting his hand. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're all right."

"Now," Dr. Dolen said, "first thing's first, Mr. Lupin, there were traces of drugs in your system. However, we can't identify either of them."

"Either of them?" Remus looked to Severus.

"Now, I don't know what you've been experimenting with here, boys, but one of those drugs had integrated itself with your bloodstream, and it looked you have the blood of a wolf."

Remus choked on the water he had taken a sip of. "A wolf, huh?"

"The other," Dr. Dolen said, ignoring him, "is something I don't know how to even explain."

"Then maybe you should just mind your own business," Regulus snapped.

"I'm a doctor, boy!"

"Look, you fixed up his leg, right? Then what else are you supposed to be doing? Nothing." Regulus got up in Dr. Dolen's face. "So butt out."

"Regulus," Severus said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Let it be."

"It's not like he can do anything about it," Regulus said. "It's called patient confidentiality. He can't report us to the cops."

"No, I can't," Dr. Dolen said, "but I can impress upon you the seriousness of your actions, Mr. Lupin. If you don't want to overdose again, I would recommend stopping now. What I can't understand is how you cut your leg open, in the exact same place where you had before, in the exact same way, the same angle even."

"Luck of the draw," Remus said dryly.

"I don't know what you do when you're all high, three young men, like yourselves, but you all need to stop it now. I'm assuming that you ended up outside, which was luck for than anything, because it probably saved Mr. Lupin's life. However, it's not cold enough to engage ice like that. I'm rather confused and curious."

"And nosy," Regulus muttered.

"Freezer," Severus said. "Regulus works at a restaurant, and we, like fools, were shooting up in the freezer."

Dr. Dolen sighed. "Whatever the case may be, it seems all three of you have more than enough problems without including drugs into your lives."

"Maybe if we didn't have so much pressure from society telling us to quit, we wouldn't be so damn set on doing them," Regulus said.

"Look," Dr. Dolen continued, "what it comes down to is that Mr. Lupin is very fortunate to be able to walk, he'll probably be resigned to using a cane."

"I already do," Remus said. "It's fine."

"Then I suppose you should find your way home," Dr. Dolen said before leaving the room.

"What a jackass," Regulus said.

Remus ignored him and turned to Severus. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can continue to test your drug."

Severus touched his hand again. "It's all right." 


	10. Chapter Ten

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?" 

Severus, from under the left arm of Remus, came face to face with Bellatrix as he entered the apartment.

"We had an accident," Severus said, realizing that he hadn't told Bella anything that had been happening. Perhaps in fear of an 'I told you so.'

"No shit you had an accident. I come over here to spend time with my favorite family and what do I find? No one here and blood all over the floor. I thought you were dead and wolves, no offense, Lupin, had carried off your carcasses."

"That's not it," Regulus said. "Nice to see you, Bella."

"Nice to see you, user," she said, glaring at him. She grinned. "Well, what happened?"

"Let's get Remus settled first," Severus said. He and Regulus helped Remus into the apartment and onto the couch.

"Are you okay now?" Severus asked. "I wish I had some sort of spell for the pain. I was never very good with healing spells anyway. Don't you... don't you have your wand?"

"Pawned it," Remus said. "But the pain isn't that bad. However, Dr. Whatever his name is refused to give me anything for it after they finished stitching up my leg."

"I'm sorry... I forgot about that side effect. And I shouldn't have."

Remus swallowed. "You knew that could happen?"

"Well, I didn't know that it could happen to that degree. I had the same maladies back in reality that I had in the memory, but that was just bruising. I had no idea that it could be that true to life."

"Thank you for helping," Remus said.

"I'm sorry."

"So is anyone going to tell me what just happened here?" Bella asked, lighting a cigarette.

Severus explained, as briefly as possible. Bella hadn't even finished her fag by the time he was done. She blew smoke out her nose.

"You're telling me, Sev, that you just happened to test your knowingly unstable drug on Remus?"

"I'm trying to work out the bugs," Severus said. "Remus insisted on testing it, but he won't be anymore. Not knowing what will happen if it's not right. I'll continue testing on myself."

"I thought you got rid of the drugs," Bella said, flicking her ashes on the floor.

"Not the Potions. Not Elixir. I still have hope for it."

"It's very vivid," Remus said. "Once you get it to work, it'll be amazing, Severus."

"Thank you. Oh, Bella, Sirius is in town."

She nodded. "I know. The fuckwad came over and tried to get me to take him in. Usual crap. 'Oh god, I'm so poor.' I'm not that fussed by him. He's a dick and that's all there is to it. I don't think we'll ever be free of him, but we'll do what we must."

"He's a tricky thing to get rid of," Regulus said.

"The man is mildew. Scorgify a hundred times, he never goes away," Bella agreed. She inhaled the remains of her cigarette and squashed the flame between her thumb and forefinger. "Now, would you like to tell me why you're testing the drug and not just working like normal people?"

Everyone was silent for a moment, until Regulus spoke.

"Because I'm a fuck up! Because I'm still using, and because I stole drugs for motherfucking Voldemort and I owe him a six hundred Galleons! If Sev can get this stuff off the ground, it'll be the new acid. It'll be the most popular drug on the planet, and you fucking well know it, Bellatrix!"

"God damn," she replied. "I knew you were an idiot, Reg, but this? And making Severus be responsible for you? I told him to ditch you. I told him that a month ago. But he never listens to me. All of his love and bullshit. And even now, when you're killing everyone around you, Regulus, you still rely on him to get you out of your messes. Why don't you just go turn yourself in and die like a reasonable person?"

Regulus grabbed Bella by the collar of her coat and hissed something in her ear. The expression on her face never changed as Regulus shoved her away and walked for the door.

"That's right, Reggie, walk out the door like a good Black! They all do it, good boy!" Bella shouted after him. She was still yelling even after he slammed the door. "That's all you boys know how to do, run away!"

"Was that necessary, Bella?" Severus asked.

"Sure it was. How many times have I told you that Regulus is an idiot? That he was using you? He basically said that he was there."

"It doesn't matter. When they threatened Regulus, they didn't shoot him, they shot Remus. It's personal. Even if I ditched him now, they know where we live, they know what would hurt Regulus. Even if he is using me, it would still be painful if I were gone."

"Yeah, no more meal ticket."

Severus scowled. "Bella, I think it's time you left."

"I don't think so," she replied. "Because you don't have a head on your shoulders, Sev, when I'm not here. I'm looking out for you."

"Well, you don't have need to. I'm fine."

"You're fine. You're right. You're just killing yourself and everyone around you. Good-bye, Sev." Bella left, lighting a cigarette.

"Do you really enjoy having the responsibility for Regulus' mistakes?" Remus asked.

"No," Severus said, "but she doesn't need to throw it in my face."

"No, she doesn't," he agreed. "But that doesn't mean she doesn't have a point."

"I'm perfectly aware of the points she makes, thank you, Remus."

Remus nodded. "So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to finish Elixir, I'm going to figure out what I'm doing wrong, and I'm going to get it on the street. I don't care if it takes me the rest of my life, however long that may be."

"Don't talk like that," Remus whispered. "Nothing's going to kill you. Not if... not if we can help it."

Severus, quite suddenly, took to heart the words that Remus had said just before becoming a part of their household. _Does he know that there are parts of me that still love you?_

Perhaps it was more true than Severus was willing to believe. More true than he wanted to believe.

He shook himself. "Don't worry, Remus, I'll be fine. I've got to be more careful, though."

Remus nodded. "I'm going to nap, if you don't mind."

"No, go ahead." Severus set himself to work on his Potions. He looked over his parchment, measurements changed, ingredients added, and then taken away. It was dirty with scratch-outs and mark ins.

He reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a fresh sheet of parchment. He scratched away, new measurements.

Severus looked over the ingredients. There were a lot of toxins in it. Perhaps too many? What could counteract, but not remove the effects of, all the mind-altering toxins in it?

"I wonder," he muttered, grabbing a mortar and pestle from the kitchen. He also picked up his knife on his way. He sat at the desk and cut a bezoar in half. He ground it in the mortar and added it to the mixture.

He let the Potion stew over the gas flame on the stove in a small, dented cauldron.

"Ugh," he said, the acidic smell flooding the room. It wasn't as bad before. Who would have thought half a bezoar would make such a difference? He remembered the smell from the first time he took Elixir, and how it happened afterward. It was right, maybe, this time.

As the Potion cooked, giving it three stirs every ten minutes, Severus noted the addition of the bezoar and pondered the differences that it would make to the other ingredients that needed adding.

After an hour of this, he turned off the flame and poured the Potion directly into a pewter flask. It took no time for the flask to grow hot and nearly burnt his hand. He set it down and wondered if he should just wait for it to cool, or if to wait overnight.

He sat at the desk and poured over his notes from the previous versions of Elixir. The version he took had cooled overnight. The version Remus took was only a few hours old. Was it more potent fresh? Is that why his leg tore open? Or was it just that in his memory, that's what happened? As in Severus' memory, he had only received bruising.

Severus looked at the flask. He could guess, be ninety-nine percent sure, but he could only ever be truly sure if he took it. Would the bezoar work and protect him from the toxins?

He found a fresh needles and the syringe. It was time to find out.


	11. Chapter Eleven

It was a crisp autumn day at the university. The leaves had taken on a golden color in their last stage and the scent of apple cider from the nearby mill filled the air.

Free from his last class of the day, Severus sat beneath the tall oak tree that was in the back courtyard. It was generally empty, and that was how Severus liked it. Alone. He pulled out his notebook and began scribbling it in, his nose so near the paper, they were almost touching.

"Just where I thought you'd be."

He looked up and saw a smiling Remus Lupin looking down at him. He smiled as well. "Remus, sit."

Remus did as he was told, but there was something unnatural about his movements, Severus noticed. He moved with ease, no limp. It was familiar, yet all the same, strange. He peered at Remus and noticed the silly goatee that he had grown, in some vain attempt to hide the scars on his face.

This was all very familiar. Severus was certain that this had happened before. He looked at Remus again, thinking how he despised the goatee, and just as soon as he thought it, Remus, unknowing to what just happened, was clean shaven.

Severus blinked. "I'm glad you're here," he said. "I can't seem to get these properties just right..."

"I'm not here to talk of properties," Remus replied. He rested a hand on Severus' knee. "Are you?"

Severus twisted his tongue behind his smile. "I suppose not."

"I don't know how you found this place," Remus said, standing and shrugging off his shirt. "No one ever comes around here. It has more privacy than the dormitories."

"Which is exactly why I like it." Severus reached out and unbuckled Remus' belt. He didn't even need to unzip them, as the pants slid off of Remus' painfully thin form.

Remus leaned down and kissed Severus. "I love you."

Severus had no response, no response than would not have been a lie, or at least only a single version of the truth, so he said nothing, but kissed Remus along his hip bones. The effect was nearly instant, as Remus moaned and nearly lost his balance, resting one had on Severus' shoulder and the other against the trunk of the tree.

Severus slid the tips of his fingers under the waistband of Remus' faded boxer shorts and pulled them down.

"The air's so cold," Remus hissed.

"Is it?" Severus rubbed his hands against Remus' buttocks. "Is that better?"

Remus moaned again.

Severus took as much of Remus' penis as possible into his mouth, and took pleasure as his head bumped against the tree with each movement of his head, and the feeling of Remus hips moving against his face.

Remus came and Severus swallowed it thoughtlessly. Remus sat on his clothes and felt around Severus' lap. "You want something, Severus?"

He shook his head. "No, Remus, I just want to watch you move."

Remus laughed. "How should I move, then?"

Severus unbuttoned his robed and slipped out his gray underwear. "Sit with me."

"Gladly." Remus curled up next to Severus, their bodies flush against one another. Severus wrapped his robes around them both.

Remus rubbed his hand along Severus' thigh. "Are you sure you don't want anything? I can't sit here without doing what I can to please you." He kissed Severus' pale neck. He moved his hand up to Severus' penis and began to move his hand up and down the erection while sucking Severus' neck.

Severus moaned, the feeling was so strong, he was nearly in tears. His moan turned to a cry as he came.

Remus licked his hand and Severus woke.

He was lying on the kitchen floor, breathing heavily. He sat up and looked around. It was simply the kitchen floor, nothing special about it. He could still smell the acid from Elixir when it had been cooking on the stove. He could hear Remus' soft snores from the living room. How long had he been out?

He stood, and felt a wetness in his pants. He shed them and saw that they were covered with his semen. He paused. That meant the memory had been a product of Elixir.

Elixir worked.

Severus ran into the living room and shook Remus by the shoulder. "Remus! Remus! REMUS!"

Remus woke and looked at Severus, puzzled. "Severus? What's going on? Why aren't you wearing pants?"

Severus stared at him. "You."

"You're not wearing pants because of me?"

"No, well, yes, but, no."

Remus smiled faintly. "I don't think I understand you."

"Elixir. It works."

"Congratulations!" Remus said, sitting up. "I'm impressed. But, er... what does it have to do with you being half naked?"

"Well, the memory. The memory was of, it was of you." Severus sat on the edge of the couch. "Do you remember the courtyard behind the university?"

Remus smiled. "Of course. We spent... time there."

"We were there. I'm sure you can guess what was happening."

"Oh... yes." Remus' face flushed. "But why-"

"Why you? Why not Regulus?" Severus asked in a hushed voice. "I don't know."

Remus was quiet.

"So now what?"

"Pardon?"

Severus sighed. "I know how to make Elixir properly now. How do I get it to this, this Voldemort? That's only if he'll buy it from me."

"Was it good?" Remus asked.

"Oh yes," he replied. "It was great. I woke up, still feeling elated, and... the memories were so strong and vivid. It took nothing for me to try and impregnate a pair of pants."

Remus snickered behind his hand. "So, it truly works as you say. Your dearest memories."

"If I have it right, it may even be able to enhance reality on your own imaginary worlds."

"Fascinating," Remus said, smiling.

"I guess I have to wait for Regulus to return," Severus said. "God only knows where he is now."

"Bellatrix did get him quite angry, but that was..." Remus looked at his watch. "That was nearly five hours ago."

"Five?" Severus repeated. He looked out the window at the nearly faded sun. "You don't think he would have left for good, do you? On the account of Bella?"

"No, not on Bella," Remus said.

"Say what you're thinking, Remus," Severus said, turning on his friend. "Tell me."

"Nothing. Simply that. He'll be back, Severus. He always comes back to you."

Hearing those words, hearing Remus say them, Severus felt a sudden pull to Regulus. He could not imagine his life without him, the love of his life. As attracted as he was still to Remus, even at the idea that his fondest memory was of him, Severus was drawn desperately to Regulus.

"Thank you," Severus said. "I suppose we'll just have to wait."

Severus showered and dressed in clean clothes. He tried to erase the thoughts of Remus, the memory was still burned into his mind. However, it wasn't hard, his drive to Regulus was stronger than ever.

The door opened and Remus said, "What are you doing here? Get out of here! Get that thing out of my face!"

Severus walked into the living room. There was Regulus.

And Macnair.

"What are you doing here?" Severus asked. He looked to Regulus. "Did you bring him here?"

Regulus shook his head. "Voldemort wants his money."

"We don't have it."

"Then you're gonna die!" Macnair said, pointing the gun directly at Severus' forehead.

Severus looked unamused. "I don't have the money, but I have something better."

"If you're going to suck my dick, you can keep it."

"I have a new drug. Market it to Muggles, they'll never know what hit them. There's only enough magic in it to give the user control. I tried it myself, it's perfect."

"Why the hell should I believe you?" Macnair asked, the gun unmoving.

Severus' face was calm. "Because killing me, killing Regulus, killing us all, it wouldn't give back the drugs Regulus used. It wouldn't bring in the money. You, your Voldemort, they'd all still be without."

He paused, and then Macnair lowered the gun. "I'll be by in one hour with Voldemort. Have a batch ready for us to try. If it's good, we'll sell it. We get your cut until all the money is paid back in full, with interest. After that, you'll see your cut."

"They'll pay twice as much than they would for regular acid," Remus said.

Macnair seemed interested, but he didn't reply to him. "I'll be by with him."

"We'll be here," Severus said and Macnair left.

"You fixed it?" Regulus said. "You got it?"

"I got it," Severus replied. His face changed in a way he was not used to. The strained face a man makes he tries not to cry. "Regulus."

Perhaps it was his tone, or the fact that for the second time they had looked down the barrel of Macnair's gun, Severus would never know, not for sure, what it was that made Regulus fall in his arms, sobbing.

"Oh, Sev, oh god... I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry."

"It's all right, it's almost over," Severus said, running his hands through Regulus' hair. "It's nearly done."

"I mean it this time, watch me every second of the day, Sev, I won't use, not anymore. I can't do it. My body isn't strong enough. I'm not strong enough without you, and I know I'll lose you. I can't lose you." Regulus' legs went out beneath him and he sank to the ground. Severus followed him.

"It's all right," Severus said. "We'll fix it, Reg, we'll fix it together."

Fixed on the couch, Remus was crying. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

"Help me," Severus said to both Remus and Regulus. "We need to make enough Elixir to last out for Voldemort."

"Please," Regulus said. "Don't say his name."

"So, will you help me, then?"

"Yes."

"I'll help too." Remus grabbed his cane and started off the couch. Severus went to help him to his feet.

"You're going to sit," Severus said.

"I can still help. I'll do whatever you say," Remus said. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I always have."

Severus tried to ignore the chills that ran up his spine, but he continued to help Remus to the kitchen and sat him down at the table. He moved to the cubboard and pulled out his stock of bezoars. "Chop these in half, then grind them in the mortar. Keep them in their halves. I need to know how much goes for each batch."

Remus nodded.

"What should I do?" Regulus asked. His eyes were still red.

"Put the cauldron on to boil with water infused with fluxweed," Severus said.

"Fluxweed?"

"It's one of the main ingredients. It causes the change in the brain. That and the toxic substances, of course."

"The things on this list?" Remus asked, holding up the parchment.

"Yes."

"This could kill someone!"

Severus smiled. "Yes, it could. That's why the bezoar is so important."

Remus paused. "That makes sense."

"I'm shocked it took me so long." Severus sat across from Remus and began mixing the toxins.

"How long will this take?" Regulus asked.

"It needs to stew for an hour, then cool," Severus said. "However, there's still plenty left from when I used it earlier tonight. They can test with that. These will be done by that time."

They worked busily, until it was time for the Potion to stew, and then Severus was the only one who worked, stirring at just the right pace. Remus and Regulus sat at the table.

"So," Regulus said, "what happened when you took it, Sev?"

"Just a... memory."

"Oh. Of whom?"

Severus knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to get him to tell the truth. To say that it was the thought of sex with Remus. However, he lied. "From my childhood. When my mother was alive."

"Oh."

Remus smiled. "What do you think you would see, Regulus? A memory? Or an imaginary place?"

"Maybe a sort of... imaginary time. A time when we weren't all fucked up like we are. Maybe if there wasn't all this history, and we didn't take those paths. I started using like eight years ago. I was just a kid when Sirius introduced me to weed. What was I supposed to do? Sirius was my life then. Maybe if I had just been able to see what he was. Or maybe if he had been different."

"We can say what if all we'd like, but it won't change anything," Remus said. "What if I hadn't been bitten by that werewolf? How would my life have changed? Quite a bit, I'd assume."

Regulus shook his head. "I guess that's why I can't stop using. Like maybe each time I try something new, maybe it'll transport me to somewhere else."

Severus looked over his shoulder. "What's so wrong with where you are?"

He swallowed. "Nothing, I guess. Except I can't stop screwing up."

A thousand responses shot through Severus' mind, but in the end, he remained silent. He stirred the Potion again.

"They should be here anytime," Remus said. "It's just past an hour now."

Severus sighed. "Well, this batch of Elixir is nearly done. Can you smell it? It will need to cool, though. At full temperature, I don't know what could happen. And I'm not willing to make this man anymore angry than he already is."

Regulus nodded, wiping away tears due to the acidic smell. "I'm sorry, Sev. I'm sorry I got you into this."

"We'll fix this," Severus replied. "And we'll get out of here. The three of us."

Remus smiled for a moment, but stopped when there was a soft knocking at the door.

Regulus gasped. "It's him."

Severus did not react. He simply poured the Potion into a tall pewter vessel and corked it. He set it down before it could scald him. "Let them in, Regulus. It's time to end this."

Regulus stood, shaking, and walked into the living room. Severus heard the door open and few muffled words exchanged.

Macnair walked into the kitchen first, followed by Regulus, and then a stranger, surely the most handsome man Severus had ever seen. He was tall with dark features and hollowed cheeks and a strange reddish gleam to his dark eyes. He wore a black suit with a high collar and flowing black robes.

His strange eyes turned to Severus. "You must be this Snape my dear Regulus has been talking so much about."

"And you must be Voldemort," Severus replied. He tried to keep his voice steady, but it was shaking. He had no idea how to act to this handsome man that called Regulus his.

"I am," he replied. "Now, what is this you have to show me?"

Severus reached for the flask and held it out. "It's called Elixir."

Voldemort took the flask with long, delicate fingers. He opened it and sniffed the contents. He nodded. "Smells like it would eat away the skin."

"It's strong."

"Macnair, if you would," Voldemort said, holding out the flask. Macnair took it.

"You're not going to try it yourself?" Severus asked.

"I don't partake in these substances. I only take advantage of those who do. Right, Regulus?"

Regulus did not reply.

Voldemort reached out and touched Regulus' cheek with one finger. "Too difficult to speak now, love?"

"Yes, sir," Regulus said, his eyes moving back and forth between Severus and Voldemort.

Macnair, who had opened a green plastic bag, fixed himself a syringe of Elixir. "Ready, sir?"

Voldemort nodded. "Whenever, Macnair."

"He'll be knocked out," Severus said. "It knocks you out so you can enjoy your memory or fantasy without the real world coming in to bother you."

"Interesting."

"I'm not entirely sure how long it lasts, since I've only tested it successfully on myself."

Voldemort was silent, but motioned to Macnair who inserted needle into his vein.

He shrugged. "Nothing, sir."

"It takes a moment," Severus said. "It has to travel to the brain, and then it'll take effect."

Sure enough, a moment or two later, Macnair was slumped to the ground.

"Now we wait," Severus said. "Once he wakes he'll tell us about his experience."

"I don't like this idea of being out while it goes on. That doesn't seem natural. It's not truly a sort of high, is it?" Voldemort asked.

"It's a high," Severus replied. "The thoughts, the memories, they're more real than when you had them the first time. The tiny flaws disappear, it becomes a utopia."

Voldemort's eyes widened. "Utopia?"

"Whatever you wish. I think, the more you use, the more you can control, but I'm not certain."

"Still," Voldemort said, distracted. He didn't notice Regulus picking up Macnair's gun and slide it carefully down the back of his pants.

After some time of silence, Voldemort looked down at Macnair. He nudged him with the to of his expensive looking shoe. "He's alive, is he not?"

Severus placed a hand over Macnair's wrist. He nodded. "Oh, yes, he's alive. Just enjoying himself by the pace of his heartbeat. Either that or running a marathon."

Another twenty minutes passed when Macnair awoke. He stood and looked to Voldemort. "Sir, this stuff is amazing. It's like nothing I've ever had. They're right. It'll make more than anything we have currently."

"Really now." Voldemort looked to Severus and Regulus. "It looks like we'll have to take this from you. I'd say a cut of... forty-sixty?"

"I'd be making...?" Severus asked.

"The sixty, of course. You and my Regulus wouldn't even need to sell it. If you did, you could make seventy percent."

"We're not interested in selling it on the streets. We just want our money after Regulus' debts are paid."

Voldemort nodded. "That's right, my Regulus' debts. We could sell this at forty Galleons a dose. Fifty, even."

"If you sold it to Muggles, you could make even more. The magic is untraceable. They would just see something beyond their imagination, something that they would be willing to come back for more and more," Severus said.

"I don't waste my time with Muggles," Voldemort said.

"But your profit-"

"Money is not an object. I will not sell to Muggles. There's a reason I only sell magical drugs. So I don't have to interact with dirty Muggles."

"Look, I need the money," Severus said. "Regulus and I need the money."

Voldemort seemed to grow in height as his rage grew. "I will not sell to Muggles. I don't care if you were living on the street, I would not sell anything to Muggles."

"Fine," Severus said. "Then I want the seventy percent. Without selling it myself."

"It doesn't work like that. I have a set profit I need to make, which is thirty percent. My sellers get ten, and my backers get forty. It's a simple system."

"If you sold to Muggles, you could only make twenty percent and get more than you are at selling to wizards at thirty percent."

"Pureblood wizards are the only ones worth selling the secrets of magic," Voldemort said. "I would not waste my time, or my life, or lower my standards to sell to Muggles."

"Then perhaps we're at an impasse," Severus said.

"An impasse?"

He nodded. "I think it would be worth the while to market Elixir to Muggles, and you do not. Now as much as I would like to give you my entire stock and get a weekly check once Regulus' debts are paid, I don't think I can. The time it would take to sell to Muggles would be worth it to me to get my money's worth."

"We want this stuff, sir," Macnair hissed.

Voldemort forced a handsome smile. "Mr. Snape, I don't think you realize whom you're dealing with. I'm the most powerful man in the magical substance world. You don't cooperate with me, you won't find cooperation with anyone."

"But I wouldn't be in the world of magical substances, so what does it matter?" Severus asked through his gritted teeth.

"Because I need Elixir," Voldemort replied. "If you will not work with me on my terms, I'll have to take it on my terms."

Severus looked around the room at a shaking Regulus and Remus, who appeared to be soaking in all the words around him by the passive expression on his face. He was not sure what to do. Give in, or spend his time on the streets selling the thing he loathes?

Remus looked him in the eye. He nodded.

Severus nodded in return. He looked back to Voldemort. "You're not taking anything."

Voldemort's strange eyes flared. "You will give it to me! Macnair, take it from him!"

"Yes, sir!" Macnair reached for his gun. "What the-"

Regulus pulled the gun out and aimed it at Macnair. "Get back!"

Severus gasped. "Regulus!"

Voldemort stepped forward. "Regulus, my dear Regulus, you do not know what you're doing. You have never had to deal with the consequences of your actions. You pull that trigger, the consequences will come down on you faster than you could even conceive."

"I'm not yours!" Regulus said, this time turning the gun onto Voldemort. "And you don't own me. Once Severus and I sell Elixir, I'll pay you back and it won't matter. We can leave each other."

"You are mistaken," Voldemort said, unfazed by the gun in face. "You are mine. When you came to work for me, when you came to my bed, you became mine."

Severus, whose eyes had not left Regulus, felt his jaw drop. "You... no."

Regulus looked to Severus. "I'm so sorry."

Macnair jumped on Regulus, throwing him back against the wall. The gun went flying across the room.

"Sev!" Regulus shouted as Macnair punched him in the face.

Voldemort reached down and picked up the gun with his pallid fingers. He did not think, he simply aimed the gun at Severus and pulled the trigger.

"NO!" Remus shouted. He tried to stand, but stumbled as the his right leg seared with pain.

Severus fell the ground without grace. He fell in a heap, his eyes still open.

"SEVERUS!" Regulus screamed, pushing Macnair away. He ran to Severus' side. He grabbed his lover's hand. "Sev, please, please don't go. I love you, Sev, I do. I'm so sorry." He lay his head across Severus' unmoving chest and sobbed.

"We're not going to give it to you," Remus said through his tears. "You could kill us all, but you will not get Elixir."

Voldemort turned to Remus. "You saw what happened to your friend when he disregarded what I had to say. Do you wish to meet the same fate?"

"I would rather die for Severus' morals than live betraying him."

Regulus, still sobbing, pulled Severus' wand from his pocket. He pointed it at Voldemort and with all the hate inside of him, screamed, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Voldemort fell to the ground. Macnair stared at his body and then at Regulus who was now pointing the wand at him. Macnair fled from the apartment.

"Is he dead?" Remus said, looking at Voldemort. He touched his wrist and pulled away with disgust. "He's still alive. You knocked him out, that's for sure."

Regulus was not paying attention. "Severus, my god, he killed Severus."

Remus, trying to not accept that his old friend was dead, didn't look. He picked up the gun from the floor. He placed the gun against Voldemort's head and shot.

Regulus screamed. "What the hell are you doing? What did you do?"

"Doing what you could not," Remus said. He threw the gun. "I can't believe I... and Severus..."

"What do we do now?" Regulus asked. He was still clutching Severus' hand.

"We have to leave."

"Leave?"

Remus nodded. "We need to get out of here, Regulus. I just killed a man."

"You killed him in revenge! It wasn't your fault!"

"I knew what I was doing. I've been on the run before, from Sirius. Now I can simply be on the run from the police."

"He was a horrible man. The police would be pleased to see him gone!"

"We need to leave," Remus repeated.

Regulus did not bother to wipe away his tears. "What about Severus? What do we do with... his body?"

Remus thought and said slowly, as if the words were killing him, "We leave him here. The police will find him. Bellatrix will find him. They'll know."

"I've never faced a problem in my life, Remus. Bella was right, I always run away. What if I stayed this time? What would happen to me?"

"We'd both be put in prison."

"I can't leave. I can't leave him, Remus."

"There's nothing can be done for him now," Remus replied coldly. "That's what Severus would say of either of us. It would pain him, as it's doing to you now, but he would realize what needs to be done. And this needs to be done."

"What do we do, then? How will we make our money?"

Remus was already pocketing the parchment on the table. He picked up the pewter vessel. "We'll sell Elixir, Regulus. You know where to go. You know where they'll want it."

"Remus, how can you be so cold!" Regulus cried. "Severus is dead! He's dead! It's my fucking fault that he's dead and I can't do anything to bring him back."

"I know."

"Then how can you do this? How can you? You loved him too!"

"I did. I still do, as do you. But I can understand the reality of this situation. Regulus, we have to move. We have to leave now to get a head start. I can't go alone, not in my condition."

Regulus looked from Severus' dead eyes to Remus' serious ones. "All right, Remus. I'll come with you. Just let me... let me pack a few things."

"Quickly."

Regulus stood and hurried into the bedroom he shared with Severus. He threw some of his clothes into a suitcase and he dug through a dresser drawer. He pulled out an unframed phot of Severus. Severus hated that photo, given why it was under a pile in a crowded dresser drawer, but Regulus loved it. He stashed it into his suitcase.

"Regulus, hurry!"

He closed the suitcase and walked into the living room. "I'm ready, Remus."

Remus turned and looked at him. He gave Regulus a sad smile. "You could break my heart, Regulus."

"I think one broken heart is enough for this trip, don't you?"

"You're right. Let's go."

Regulus held up a hand. "One moment. He walked into the kitchen where Severus still lay. He knelt down next to him and kissed Severus' still warm cheek. "I love you, Sev. I never told you that, but I do. I'm so sorry. I know I said that a hundred times, but I mean it. I mean it, Sev. I love you."

There, like Regulus expected, was no reply.

"Come, Regulus," Remus said from the doorway in a softened voice. "It's time to leave."

Regulus picked up Severus' wand and placed it in his pocket. He stood and faced Remus. "Yes, it is. Where are we going?"

"Underground."

"I thought you didn't know the underground," Regulus said as they walked down the hall.

"Not the drugs, the werewolf underground," Remus clarified. "There are passages they take that others would not. We can take those passages until we get out of here. Until we get into America."

"America?"

"We can blend into the crowd easier that way. In New York City, perhaps."

"What about... what about Bella?"

Remus looked over his shoulder at Regulus. "When we get out of the country, you can write to her. Let her know that we're alive."

"That we're at least left," Regulus clarified.

"Yes, that."

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

"I don't know what to do."

"Just follow me." 


	13. Thirteen: Epilogue

It was two months ago that Severus Snape had died. No one was sure of the details, what happened that night, but it was clear to Bellatrix that it was no mere accident. The absence, without a word, of Remus and Regulus made that clear to her. 

The police were looking for the murderers of Tom Riddle, the drug dealer under the alias of Voldemort, and Severus Snape. But after this long, Bella was sure Remus and Regulus were gone for good.

Bella was void of friends now they had left. She attended the small service for Severus, and met a few people he knew. James and Lily Potter, Mo Quail, a few fellow employees from the shop, Dr. Mancusi from the clinic. Would she see these people again? She doubted it.

She was on her way out the door, when she stopped the check the mail. There was only a thin envelope inside. She looked at the unfamiliar scrawl and the New York City postmark. He frowned and opened it.

_Dear Bella,_

_Well, we can't tell you where we are, though we doubt many people are looking for us. We're simply low lives and we killed low lives. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that I, nor Remus, killed Severus._

_I probably won't be in contact with you again, Bella, but I had to let you know that we we're safe. I have a hard time saying this, since I know what you thought of me, and how I treated Sev, but it's important that you know we're alive somewhere. Remus asked me not to give too much information, in case this letter falls into the wrong hands._

_I wish I could say everything that I wanted to. I wish I could tell you, straightforward, that I've changed. I, honest to God, haven't used since we left. I'd probably be dead if I did. We've made our living selling (and brewing from time to time, though Remus and I aren't the experts Severus was) Elixir along the way. It's not really an honest living, but we make do._

_We'll be moving again soon, and I ask that you burn this letter and envelope._

_I hope you're well. And you'll stay well._

_Good-bye, Bella.  
-Regulus_

Bella read the letter twice and smiled. She dropped the letter and envelope in a flaming garbage can surrounded by homeless men.

"Hey, Bella!"

She looked at the tall man with long white hair and a crooked nose. She knew him as one of the local addicts who lived on the streets.

She smiled again and waved. "Hey, Albus. How's it hangin'?"


End file.
